| | When I am feeling angry, I feel like tearing down the whole building, throwing things and punching on something hard to release my anger. I will start to hate the person so much and try hard to forget that this person exists. I feel like bursting everything out to someone, but again, retaliate because I do not wish to share my problems to create more burdens. I would love to curse and swear, but I do not like it if others did the same to me. Sometime, I write my feeling in my dairy, the more I write, the more I feel that I don't deserve to be sad or angry. I will console myself somehow and return to my original self. However, this will only take hours to happen. Within that few hours, I will have to try hard to break that uncomfortable and fuck up feeling inside me, break it hard into pieces and meant it back all by myself. Never felt like that last time and started feeling like this ever since my new life, with a new partner, with a new surrounding and friends formed. Sometime it’s really unbearable and sucks, I feel like killing that person who hurt me and I feel like knocking his head and making him feel as pain as I do. But I did not, and bear it all by myself. It’s hurt badly, yet life has to move on. When I love someone so deeply, the more I will be hurt. Again, nothing I can do to force things to happen the way I want it to be. Life still has to move on. I only hope that this person will wake up one day and realize how much he has hurt me throughout the years. I can only bear with it as I chose to be with him. Unless one day things turn out way to hard for me to move on then I might turn my love into hurt into hate and finally leave him for good.
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| | Posted 10/30/2009 3:27 PM - 26 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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